Horoscopes Horrorscopes by Black Alice


Aquarius :: Jan. 20 - Feb. 17 You have inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk. You enjoy sucking knob.
Pisces :: Feb. 18 - Mar. 19 You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have a minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting what you mistake as power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.
Aries :: March 20 - April 19 You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and scornful of advice.You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a PRICK!!
Taurus :: April 20 - May 19 You are practical and persistent. You have dogged determination and stick-to-it-iveness because you never do anything right the first time. Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed. You are nothing but a fucking asshole.
Gemini :: May 20 - June 20 You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to think to much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Gemini's are notorious for thriving on incest.
Cancer :: June 21 - July 21 You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You always keep putting things off. This is why you will always be on welfare and will not be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.
Leo :: July 22 - Aug. 22 You consider yourself a born leader. Everyone thinks you are an idiot. Most Leo's are bullies. You are vain and can not tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo's are thieving mother-fuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.
Virgo :: Aug 23 - Sept. 21 You are a logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgo's make good bus drivers pimps.
Libra :: Sept. 22 - Oct. 22 You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male you are probably QUEER. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libra's die of venereal disease.
Scorpio :: Oct. 23 - Nov. 21 The worst of the lot!!! You are shrewd in business and can not be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success by your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpio's are MURDERED.
Sagittarius :: Nov. 22 - Dec. 21 You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius's are drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarius. You are indeed a worthless piece of shit.
Capricorn :: Dec. 22 - Jan. 19 You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chicken-shit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should KILL yourself.

Homepage | News & Info | The Story so far... | The Story to come... | Related Links | Horoscopes by Alice |

Free Downloads |

© Copyright 2014, The Moon Group